Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Outsider Poet and the Demon Belphegor Team Up For Spoken Word Album

The Outsider Poet and the demon prince Belphegor have announced they will team up for a spoken word album which will drop early in 2017. Belphegor, a demon notorious for tempting humans to be lazy and inspiring them to devise devious means and ingenious methods to do so, convinced Vaultonburg, founder and CEO of Zombie Logic Press, called by NPR "America's most dangerous literary press," that the album would save him a great deal of time trying to upload his videos to YouTube. 

The Moabites were familiar with the temptations of this old scourge, who they referred to as Baal-Peor, but apparently his emergence in the West is a new phenomenon. 


As August turns into September there's really not much to do, and no good reason to do much at all, I find. The Fall harvest should be bountiful, and things will go on largely without obstacles. We'll all outlast our late summer colds, perhaps buy that Polo Autumn jacket we've been fancying for a few years now, and prepare for winter, but not too hard.

Don't force it, just let it come naturally.

Sunday, August 28, 2016

Rockford Page Appears at Local Folk Festival

Outsider poet Thomas L. Vaultonburg, formerly of the Rockford Pages outsider poetry slam team, appeared at the Willow Creek Folk Festival earlier in August, performing the classic "Wagon Wheel" all three nights on the open stage, as long as a spoken word recitation he composed extemperaneously for the approving crowd. 

Many in the audience commented that he looked a little bit like a lobster. But they were just being shellfish.

Vaultonburg also challenged the rule that dogs and drunks were not allowed on the stage, which happens to be inside the confines of the church yard, by inviting a drunken Norwegian Elkhound to join him on stage for a rollicking version of "Lady of Spain." Vaultonburg has subsequently been banned from appearing at the Willow Creek Folk Festival for a period of five years. On the upside, though, the Elkhound has joined Jimmy Buffet on his national tour. 

In other news involving the Rockford Pages poetry slam team, the 2017 season will soon be upon us, and several venues in Rockford will serve as bout venues the upcoming season. Including the Outsider Poetry Depot and Shep's Supper Club. 

Aside from this, it's fantasy football season, so reports will be sparse from this reporter for a few months. I also bought an 8 Track player so I'll be out on the search for 8 Track tapes and updating my fantasy football lineups.