Game of Thrones Actor Peter Dinklage To Join Rockford Pages For 2017 OPSLA Season

Caution: spoilers.

Avert your eyes Game of Thrones fans, but actor Peter Dinklage's character, Tyrion Lannister, has been written out of the 7th season by show runners, according to Variety, and will be joining the Rockford Pages Outsider Poetry Slam League of America team. 

Team spokesperson Anderson Anderson Peterson said Dinklage would be concentrating more on short forms like haikus, clerihews, and limericks, but could take on longer narrative forms if needed. 

The Rockford Pages went winless in the 2016 OPSLA season, but have high hopes for the 2017 season, especially after the addition of Dinklage. Other cast members from Game of Thrones have also expressed interested in joining OPSLA teams, with the league champion Rancho Cucamonga Kookamungas expected to have the best shot at signing the celebrity poets, as Sean Penn, Christopher Walkin, and Loyd Bridges all made guest appearances for the team during their historic 2016 season.

In other league news, two televised bouts at the Rockford Metro Centre were agreed upon for 2017. With eight new teams joining the OPSLA, a sixteen team tournament will be held in May in Rockford. 

Rockford Poetry Slam Team Dealt a Blow With Departure of Outlaw Poet

The Rockford Pages Outsider Poetry Slam team was dealt a blow today when they learned scoring leader Thomas L. Vaultonburg had been traded to the Chemung Shamans. The loss hurts doubly as the Shamans are in first place in the Eastern Division, and the the trade will likely eliminate Rockford from the playoffs. 

Informed of the trade to a division rival, Vaultonburg began dancing and yelling "Woo, woo, woo," like professional wrestler Ric Flair. It's not the first time someone leaving Rockford has done so. Team captain Nelson The Sock Monkey said his roster spot will be replaced with the guy who wears the Rockford Ice Hogs costume at games. 

This is a picture of Outsider poet Thomas L. Vaultonburg looking stupid and confused because he just voted in Rockford. His mother always told him if he didn't quit acting the fool he'd get sent to Chemung, and now he has. 

The Rockford Pages and Chemung Shamans will meet in the final bout of the OPSLA season in August at the Rockford Poetry Depot. 

The Rockford Pages 2016 OPSLA Poetry Slam Team

Welcome to the Rockford Pages home page for our Outsider Poetry Slam League of America slam team. Let's meet our roster for the 2016 OPSLA season!!!!

Tim Schwontz. The captain of our spoken word team, Tim Schwontz has been a voice artist for shows such as Curious George, Sleight Words. and has done commercial voice over work for Folgers and Depends Undergarments. 

Bob and Marge. They're just the typical Rockford couple. A hilarious couple. They finish each other's heroic couplets. You have to see it to believe it. The crowd loves it. It's like dueling pianos. Sort of. 

k

This is Marvin. He's Black. But he's not angry about it. No need to feel threatened. In fact, no one in Rockford is angry. Don't believe what you have heard from the national media. 

The Rockford Pages are proud to be the eighth and final team accepted into Division 1 of the Outsider Poetry Slam League of America, and we'll be at the Outsider Poetry Depot May 11th for the first bout of the season.

Newest Rockford Pages team member outsider poet Thomas L. Vaultonburg, editor of Zombie Logic Press, reading a copy of Crad Kilodney's Lightning Struck My Dick.

More good news from Rockford, America's 3rd most dangerous city. We are pleased to be joined by local legend 

Jesus Abromowitz Correa

Amazing update April 1st 2016: Nelson the Sock Monkey has joined the Rockford Pages Outsider Poetry Slam team and will compete in Royal Rumble 2016

Wacka Wacka