Game of Thrones Actor Peter Dinklage To Join Rockford Pages For 2017 OPSLA Season

Caution: spoilers.

Avert your eyes Game of Thrones fans, but actor Peter Dinklage's character, Tyrion Lannister, has been written out of the 7th season by show runners, according to Variety, and will be joining the Rockford Pages Outsider Poetry Slam League of America team. 

Team spokesperson Anderson Anderson Peterson said Dinklage would be concentrating more on short forms like haikus, clerihews, and limericks, but could take on longer narrative forms if needed. 

The Rockford Pages went winless in the 2016 OPSLA season, but have high hopes for the 2017 season, especially after the addition of Dinklage. Other cast members from Game of Thrones have also expressed interested in joining OPSLA teams, with the league champion Rancho Cucamonga Kookamungas expected to have the best shot at signing the celebrity poets, as Sean Penn, Christopher Walkin, and Loyd Bridges all made guest appearances for the team during their historic 2016 season.

In other league news, two televised bouts at the Rockford Metro Centre were agreed upon for 2017. With eight new teams joining the OPSLA, a sixteen team tournament will be held in May in Rockford. 

Rockford Poet Named MVP of Outsider Poetry Slam League

Even though the two teams he played for, The Rockford Pages, and the Chemung Shamans,  finished in last place, Rockford poet Thomas L. Vaultonburg was named the most valuable player of the Outsider Poetry Slam League of America Friday night in a press conference in Kokomo, Indiana. The announcement was made by league commissioner Dr. Millard Rausch. Vaultonburg, the founder and publisher of Zombie Logic Press, accepted the award with some surprise, noting that his teams were not about to win a single OPSLA match this season, but he was honored to be thought of in the voting, which is done by OPSLA poets and fans.

This is a rendering by artist Andrew Davis, of Shitdickers and Gentleman Brothers, of outsider poet Thomas L. Vaultonburg on vacation in New Orleans in 2016. Vaultonburg received the Bukowski Award as MVP of the Outsider Poetry Slam League of America Friday. 

Rockford poetry has been given a shot in the arm by the lack of success of the Rockford Pages slam team, and the upshot is an explosion in interest in the written and spoken word in America's 3rd most miserable city. Vaultonburg has received some flack for his gaunt stature as he is pulling down the nation's 6th fattest city standing, but Vaultonburg is unapologetic about not having yet eaten at the Portillos. 

The Chemung Shamans and Rockford Pages both released statements congratulating Vaultonburg on being named league MVP, and the Shamans released Vaultonburg later in the afternoon saying they couldn't afford an MVP in a place like Chemung. It is unclear which team(s) Vaultonburg will compete for in 2017, but rumors have been circulated he might go to Rancho Cucamonga to be re-united with Tom Stotes, who he recorded a spoken word album with in 2003. The Rancho Cucamonga Kookamungas went undefeated and beat the Kokomo Oralists in the Championship bout August 7th.